I just want to be loved
by Snugglebunny83
Summary: Crowley finds kindness in an unexpected place. Rated T for language and angsty feelings. All characters property of Eric Kripke.


"Dean! Wake up! We've got a case!" Sam gave his brother a shake as he tried to wake him. Dean was currently snoozing on top of the map table.

"Hey Dean! There's a pair of hot Asian lesbians in here!"

That did the trick. Dean woke up with a snort. Blinking, he looked around.

"Where's my hot lesbians?"

"Dude, there aren't any. I just needed you to get your ass up. Come on. We've got a case."

Dean made a face and grumbled something under his breath. "Alright, I'm coming, but next time, no joking about lesbians! Now you owe me some pie!"

"So where's the case at?"

"Manhattan."

"Alright! The Big Apple!"

"Manhattan, Kansas."

Dean looked over at Sam with his eyebrows cocked.

"Manhattan, _Kansas_?"

"Yeah. Its two hours east of here. Look."

Sam handed Dean a brochure.

"The Little Apple?" Dean said with a snort.

"Yep. The Little Apple."

"So where in the _Little Apple_ are we going?"

"Kansas State University. I got a call from one of the students saying that there were poltergeists in the university apartments."

"Oooh excellent. College chicks! Come on Sammy! Let's hit the road!"

A few hours later, all the poltergeists were eradicated and Dean was hitting on every college girl he could find. Sam watched, bemused.

"Sammy! Thank you so much for this! It's like Christmas!" Dean exclaimed, as he looked around at all the sexy student bodies, many of whom were dressed in their pajamas and nightgowns, as it was late at night.

"Boy your brother sure loves his women." Someone spoke to Sam. He turned. One of the girls had come up to him."

"Jacki Demchak. I'm the one who called you." She said, holding out a hand.

"Sam Winchester. If you don't mind me asking, how did you know to get a hold of us?"

"Got your number from a friend of a friend that happened to know somebody named Bobby Singer. For a while now, I have noticed that some odd things have been happening. Not just around here, but all over. Take that supposed "Meteor Shower" a few months back. I did some research. There is no way in hell that was meteors. It was the wrong time of year. I did some crosschecking with my roommate. She's an Astronomy nut and she agrees with me."

"So what do you think it was then?"

"Between you and me, I'd say it was something biblical. Fallen angels or heavenly fire, or something like that. Clearly the Man Upstairs is pissed about something."

Sam looked at her, impressed. She had the makings of a hunter. Calm under pressure, no slacker for research, and clearly very open-minded.

"So you believe in angels?"

Jacki smiled and nodded. She reached into the collar of her pajama top and pulled out a thin gold chain. On the chain dangled a crucifix charm.

"I believe in it all."

It was difficult prying Dean away from the bevy of female beauties. He had collected quite a collection of phone numbers, and there was a number of different colored lipstick marks on his face. Sam just shook his head and laughed as they walked towards the Impala to make their way back home.

A few days later, Sam found himself calling Jacki. The proverbial shit had hit the fan. Kevin had beaten Crowley to a bloody pulp and had ran off, Crowley needed watching and there was no other hunters available for the job, and he and Dean had another case to work.

"Look, I know you are probably busy, but we need your help. We've got this job to do and we need to find Kevin…" Sam trailed off, exasperated.

"Sure, I'll help. Lucky I have a three-day weekend this week. No class today. I'll see you in a couple hours."

Two hours later, Jacki arrived at the bunker, overnight bag and backpack in hand. Her roommate honked and waved before driving away. Jacki waved back.

The bunker door opened and a very stressed out Sam and Dean came out.

"Sam, Dean. Good to see you both again. So, show me this King of hell I'm supposed to baby-sit."

They took her into the back where Crowley was chained up. When she got a good look at him, she was rather stunned.

"Hmm. Not exactly what I had pictured. I was expecting a hideous bright red goat man with horns, cloven hooves, and a pointed tail. Instead I get Romo Lampkin!"

"Romo who?" Dean asked, confused.

"Romo Lampkin. He's a character on Battlestar Galactica, played by Mark Sheppard. You know, I never realized it but Crowley does look an awful lot like Mark Sheppard."

Dean snorted. "You're such a nerd, Sammy."

Sam and Dean left, and Jacki was left alone with Crowley who sat scowling at her.

"Take a bloody picture. It'll last longer." He grumped.

Jacki sighed. It was going to be a _long_ weekend.

Well she intended to make the best of it and make herself useful. After stowing her bags in a spare room, she tidied up the bunker. On a hunch, she checked the fridge and cabinets to see what sort of supplies they had, and found them to be rather lacking. Pulling out her laptop, she got online to check to see if by chance there were any grocery stores in the area that delivered. Her luck was in. There was a Hy-Vee in the area that did deliver. She put in an order, getting the basic staples, along with pie for Dean, and a couple bottles of hunter's helper.

After putting away the groceries, Jacki fixed a plate of food for Crowley and took it into him along with the first aid kit.

"So now you decide to pay attention to me."

"You were being a grump. I figured you needed some time alone. If you had been a little more polite, I would have paid you attention a while ago."

Jacki opened the first aid kit and began to dress Crowley's wounds. Kevin had really done a number on him. King of hell or no, nobody deserved to be beaten like that. Looking at his bruised and bloody face made her feel sick to her stomach, but she steeled herself against her nausea and did what had to be done.

Crowley was rather taken aback with her kindness. It had been quite a long time since anyone had ever touched him with kindness. He couldn't even remember the last time.

"So you a doctor or something?" He asked as he watched her tend his wounds.

"Nope. College student, History Major."

"Well you seem to be rather adept at medical care."

"My Mom was a nurse. She taught me everything she knew."

"There! All done." She said as she bandaged the last wound.

"Thank You."

"You're welcome. Are you hungry? Do you think you could eat?"

"Yeah, I guess I am hungry, although I don't know how I can manage to eat being chained up."

"If you don't object, I can feed you."

"Alright then."

Jacki brought over the plate of sandwiches and the bowl of soup she had fixed. Dipping a spoon into the soup, she raised it to Crowley's lips. Hungrily, he accepted the bite of soup. They talked as Jacki fed him. Crowley had to admit that he was enjoying the experience. It's amazing the affect a simple act of kindness can have upon somebody.

That night, Jacki was awoken by the sound of someone crying. Climbing out of bed, she pulled on her robe and looked around the bunker for the source of the sound. It wasn't Sam and Dean. They were still gone. It wasn't Kevin, or the boys' friend Castiel. The sound seemed to be coming from the back. There could be only one explanation for it. Crowley.

Jacki made her way to the back. What she found in there tore at her heart. There was Crowley, bent over his knees, his body trembling with the force of his sobbing, making the most heart wrenching cries of anguish and despair that she had ever heard.

A memory flashed in her mind. A memory of her own self in that position, years ago. A memory of herself curled up in a ball on the living room floor, shaking and wracked with grief. Making those same anguished cries. All alone. No Mother, no Father, no friends. Even God had seemed far away on that horrible night. Her hands had searched blindly for some sort of comfort. None could be found. She remembered that she had begged for Death to release her from her torment. God help her, she had _begged _for it.

"I just want to be loved." Crowley sobbed.

That sent her own tears streaming down her face. _I just want to be loved._ God, how many times had she said the same thing over the years? Love was the reason for that horrible night. Love and Hate. In the end, Hate had won out, leaving two innocent hearts forever broken. Over time, she had moved on as best she could. Finding bits of comfort and kindness where she could. The pain had faded somewhat, but she knew it would never be totally gone. As long as she drew breath, those wounds would remain, buried deep, and unseen.

The worst part of it all was the constant fear to trust again. Always afraid that the bottom would drop out. Because the bottom always dropped out. Sooner or later, it always did.

Kneeling down beside him, she took Crowley in her arms. There are many forms of love in the world, and she had more than enough room in her heart for Crowley. As she held him, she prayed.

"Let him be loved. Let me be loved. Take our pain away. Let everyone I love be taken care of. Let them be happy. Keep them safe. Especially keep Tony safe. Let him come back to me soon."

She didn't know, but God had heard her prayer. The wounds that had pained her and Crowley both for so long were finally healed. Crowley's humanity was restored. God's love spread across the world, touching the heart of everyone she ever knew. In that one moment, every heart she ever touched glowed. They were loved. They were safe. They were happy.

_One year later_

It was time for them to be moving on, but they had to say goodbye to someone first. Sam, Dean, Kevin, Crowley, and Castiel pulled up to an apartment on campus. Standing outside waiting for them was Jacki and her husband, Tony.

"Hey, nice ink!" Dean exclaimed, admiring the new tattoo on Jacki's arm. "What's that mean anyway?"

Taking Tony's hand, she smiled as she answered. "It says Omnia vincit amor. It means Love Conquers All."


End file.
